Part 3: References

Atchity, K & Wong, C. (2003) Writing Treatments that Sell: how to create and market your story ideas to the motion picture and TV industry. 2^nd Edition. Henry Holt and Company: New York.

Carlton-Ross, J. (n.d.). How to Write Treatments. Available: http://carltonross.tripod.com/write_treatments.html. Last accessed 17th June 2013.

Horowitz, M. (n.d.). How to Write a Treatment. Available: http://www.movieoutline.com/articles/how-to-write-a-treatment.html. Last accessed 17th June 2013.

Janowitz, B. (n.d.). Acting Up: Three Act Structure. Available: http://www.harlequin.com/articlepage.html?articleId=1357&chapter=0. Last accessed 18th June 2013.

Kubler-Ross, E (1970). On Death and Dying. London: Tavistock Publications Limited.

Lavandier, Y. (2005). Writing Drama. Retrieved online June 18, 2005 from http://www.clown-enfant.com/leclown/eng/drama/livre.htm#1STRUC

Mackendrick, A. (2005).  On Film-Making: introduction to the craft of the director. Faber and Faber, Inc: New York.

McKee, R. (n.d.). How to Write a Screenplay. Available: http://www.bbc.co.uk/worldservice/arts/features/howtowrite/screenplay.shtml. Last accessed 17th June 2013.

How to Write a Film Treatment. Available: http://www.lightsfilmschool.com/articles/treatments/. Last accessed 17th June 2013.

Assignment 3

ON DEATH & DYING

SCHOOL HALL/COTTAGE LOUNGE: Morning: Sally/Sally’s Parents/Geoffrey Soillen

Sally plays piano to a hall of school children whilst two figures are interspersed calmly preparing to hang themselves in their lounge – a crucifix is seen on the cottage wall.  As the piano piece comes to a crescendo Sally notices two empty ‘reserved’ seats in the front row.  The two unknown characters hang themselves as the TV behind them announces the election of the new Prime Minister Geoffrey Soillen.

SCHOOL FOYER: Morning: Sally, Mrs Bluebecker & Ms Salcombe

Sally talks to her old piano teacher and the Headmaster of the school.  Here we ascertain that Sally was home-schooled and she asks to use the landline, as she doesn’t own a mobile phone to call her dutiful parents who should have been at the concert.

HIGH STREET/MUSIC SHOP: Morning: Sally, A group of young teenage girls

Sally enters the music shop on the way to the bus stop, only to find the shop unmanned.  As she browses through the music a group of three teenage girls enter the shop with music blaring from their phones.  The group mock Sally’s clothes and musical taste causing Sally to quietly leave.  The girls show a strange reaction as Sally leaves, intently staring at her whilst remaining silent.  

BUS: Morning: Sally, A group of young teenagers wearing hoods

As the bus arrives in the pouring rain, Sally boards and shows the driver her bus pass. The driver shows no reaction to Sally’s presence and Sally sits down amongst the passengers.  Sally’s attention is diverted from reading a book by the strange sounds of all the passengers tapping in an identical rhythm.  Scared, Sally exits the bus.  All the passengers turn to stare at her as the bus pulls away.  

SALLY’S HOME: Morning: Sally, her parents. 

Sally returns home to find her parents hanging in the lounge.  Completely distraught, Sally cuts down her parents and lies with their bodies on the floor, unable to accept what has happened.  After the initial shock, Sally tried to call the police and ambulance but receives a strange thumping tone from the telephone. 

OUTSIDE SALLY’S HOME: Morning: Sally

Sally tries to hail down a driver, but all of the cars on the road ignore her.  Three cars pass by with two older people sobbing as they are driving, and one young driver who stares at her intently.  Giving up on the driver, Sally runs to the police station.  

POLICE STATION INTERIOR: Morning: Sally, PC Morgan, A group of hooded youths

Sally enters the police station begging for help but finds the station entirely manned by young people.  The group of teenagers waiting in the waiting area play music through their phones and stare blankly ahead.   A man, dressed in dark clothing, stands unnoticed in the corner.  As Sally tries to get the attention of both the police officer and those waiting, her frustration builds.  In a rage, Sally leaves the police station. 

PM’s OFFICE INTERIOR: Geoffrey Soillen, Sandra Kalzi, Peter Michaels.

The PM receives a briefing on the crisis from Sandra and Peter.  Shocked by the severity of the situation, the PM orders the Army to take control, rounding up the infected and taking them to a secure camp.  Despite strong argument from the Cabinet, the PM proceeds with his plan.

WOODLAND CLEARING – EXT. Morning: Sally, large gathering of young people.

Sally stumbles across a meeting of hundreds of young people in the woods.  Standing in front of a large stage, the crowd listens and responds in loud bellows of ‘Yeh’ or ‘Nah’.   Pop music can be heard blaring from the large speakers. Sally learns that young people are being controlled and tortured if they do not ‘join the armies’ and ‘fight for a better Britain’.  Sally witnesses a girl with a bag over her head being dragged on to the stage and beaten.   Stumbling, Sally is noticed by the crowd. 
WOODLAND – EXT. Morning: Sally, large gathering of young people. 

20 angry young people chase Sally through the woods, each enjoying the thrill of the chase.  Sally stumbles down a riverbank and is nearly caught by the group, taking shelter behind a large rock.  As Sally waits, an unknown figure places a cloth to her mouth as she passes out.  

FACTORY – INT. Afternoon: Sally, Blaine, Tara

Sally awakes up scared and disoriented.  Spotting Tara and Blaine with their backs to her, Sally tries to make a run for warehouse doors.  Blaine and Tara grab her, tie her to a chair and begin questioning her about her knowledge of ‘the infection’.   Once they realise that Sally is not involved, they introduce themselves as ‘The Resistance’ and begin to tell her about the subliminal messaging that is being applied to pop music, placing young people in a subservient trance and causing the older generations to commit suicide.    Sally recalls the horror of her parents’ suicide and we learn that both Blaine and Tara have also lost their families.  Blaine shows Sally the PM’s emergency broadcast message.  Unsure of what is happening, and why, the group hatches a plan to kidnap one of the infected people.  

ALLEYWAY – Early evening:  Sally, Blaine, Tara, Brandon

Waiting in a dark alleyway, Tara, Blaine and Sally come across one of Sally’s old piano students walking through the streets alone listening to a PEAR mp3 player.  Certain that he is infected, the group grab the passing boy, roughly pinning him against the wall and covering his mouth.  Following a violent outburst from Blaine, the group learns nothing of the ‘infection’, but convince themselves that the PEAR headphones are a common link.  In a frantic rage, Blaine kills the boy with a pistol, beginning to show signs that he is ‘infected’.  Both Sally and Tara appear unusually calm about the murder.  

PEAR HQ – Night: Sally, Blaine, Tara

After Tara picks the lock of the security door of PEAR HQ, the group enter the building to look for evidence.  Surprisingly, the building is almost entirely empty.  Sally finds a locked filing cabinet and violently forces it open.  Inside she finds reams of Government documents, seemingly non-related to the current situation.  Taking the files, Sally, Tara and Blaine leave the HQ.  The man dressed in black from the police station can be seen standing at the outer gate, unnoticed by the group.  He makes a phone call, gesturing to Sally as he speaks to an unknown person on the phone. 

PM’s OFFICE – INT. Night: Geoffrey Soillen, Miss Blackson

Classical music blares from the PM’s office as he sits drinking whiskey, happily conducting from his chair.   Miss Blackson enters questioning the appropriateness of the PM’s actions given the situation.   The PM gives a calm and charming response, smiling as Miss Blackson leaves the room. 

FACTORY – EXT. Night: Sally, Blaine, Tara, a large group of angry youths. 

Returning to their base, Sally, Blaine and Tara find a group of young people surrounding the factory and chanting something inaudible.  Noticed by the group a fight breaks out.  Uncharacteristically, Sally, in a wave of rage, bludgeons one of the young people with a metal pole.  Tara, Blaine and Sally flee the scene, narrowly escaping the hoard as they try to grab and take them back to their meeting place in the woods.  

ROAD – EXT. Night:  Sally, Blaine, Tara.

The streets are in turmoil with fires blazing from windows, bodies littering the streets and a distant howl of the young hoards.  Sally, Blaine and Tara, now appreciating the seriousness of the situation, enter a house after they hear screaming inside.   One inside they find an empty house with the TV blaring out old horror classics.  Sally finds the body of a man in the bathtub, surrounded by advanced scientific books and Government papers.  

PUBLIC LIBRARY – INT. Dawn: Sally, Blaine, Tara

Finding shelter in a public library, Sally, Blaine and Tara begin to research the link between PEAR and the Government.    Tara, acting strangely, decides to get some sleep leaving Blaine and Sally alone.  Sally makes a move on Blaine causing the two to spend a passionate night together. 

PUBLIC LIBRARY – INT. Morning: Sally, Blaine.

Waking the next morning, Sally finds a note from Blaine and Tara alerting her that they have gone to get supplies.  Blaine returns without Tara, claiming that she ran off whilst he was looking for supplies.  Suspicious, Sally confronts Blaine, accusing him of being ‘infected’ and killing Tara.  In a violent rage the pair get into a fight and Sally brutally kills Blaine.  

PUBLIC LIBRARY – INT. Morning: Sally

In a whirlwind of depression, Sally mourns the loss of her lover and thinks back to her violent actions.  Noticing a Government logo on an unread document, Sally follows a number of leads guiding her to a video of Peter Ellison (now PM) discussing his experiments into audio-reanimation.  After further research Sally discovers that the current PM, Geoffrey Soillen, is a former genetic scientists, shunned by the science community for his radical theories.  With a cold look in her eyes, Sally grabs Tara’s pistol and leaves the library.

BATHROOM – INT. Morning: Geoffrey Soillen

Fixing his appearance in the mirror, Geoffrey talks to himself, addressing himself as Peter, with a sinister grin and evil look in his eye.  As he prepares to leave the bathroom he looks knowingly at his reflection in the mirror and winks.  

OUTSIDE NO. 10 DOWNING STREET: Afternoon: Sally, Geoffrey Soillen, Tara and a large group of young listeners.  

Arriving at the PM’s public address, Sally prepares to assassinate the man behind the ‘infection’.  Loading the pistol amongst the crowd, Sally notices Tara standing amongst the onlookers.  Realising the consequences of her actions, Sally begins to panic, wondering who she has become.  Tara turns and smiles at her, gesturing towards the PM.  As the PM delivers the last line of his speech a realisation hits Sally – the realisation that she has been infected since her bus journey and has been living out the symptoms of infection.  With tears streaming down her face, Sally considers whether to shoot the PM in an attempt to stop the infection, or does she shoot herself?  As we fade to black, a shot is fired.   

Reflective Commentary of Part Three

Creating a proposal for my own story proved an excellent way to ensure that it was well structured and understandable to the audience.  It also enabled me to add a subplot by luring the audience into a false sense of security by developing their trust in the PM before revealing his true intentions, thus creating a ‘shock factor’. I was also able to incorporate an additional theme based on Kubler-Ross’ (1970) Five Stages of Grief’ theory, linking this to the ‘symptoms’ of Ellison’s infection.  Each of the three ‘good’ characters moves through the five stages of grief at different stages in the story, each intertwining as it continues (see visual timeline on Three Stages diagram below).

I found my research into treatments extremely enlightening and soon discovered that writers have differing views on the purpose of a treatment in the writing process.  For example, Robert McKee (n.d) suggests that a treatment should be a private document for the writer only, setting out an elaborate plan of the dialogue, actions and thoughts of each character in each scene.  In contrast, Horowitz (nd) suggests that a treatment should be shown to others in order to awaken their imagination and enable them to visualise the writer’s thoughts.  Carlton-Ross takes this one step further, suggesting that a treatment can be used as a marketing tool, and if the correct language is used, the treatment can be the difference between a script being read or discarded.  I would say that it is vital to ensure that a treatment contains the ‘juice’ of the story without overloading the reader with irrelevant detail at this stage in the process.  The aim should be for the reader to be interested in the story, but also want to know more. 

Despite the course material referring to a ‘one act’ project, I decided to research the three-act structure as this would provide me with a good understanding of structuring a piece. Janowitz (n.d.) identifies very defined structural points, suggesting that Act One provides “the set-up” and “the point of no return”; Act Two provides “the middle” and Act Three gives the audience “resolution”.  Bonnet (n.d.), whilst arguing that a story should be created not through arbitrary division into acts, but through the central event, also suggests that today’s modern audience has come to expect the three-act structure and therefore it is more of a psychological tool to give three clear parts to the story.  My research has led me to believe that many elements of the ‘act’ structure remain entirely relevant to ensure that a story is believable and entertaining.  However, I found Lavandier’s (2005) ideas about ‘tweaking’ the structure to fit with the story interesting and relevant to my own story, which contains a ‘twist’ in the final act: 

“…the modified third act is constructed like the whole of which it is part: it has its own inciting incident (the twist in question), its own climax providing the second dramatic answer to the same dramatic question, and its own third act.”   

I constructed a diagram detailing the major story events against the ‘three-act structure’ (see below).  This proved extremely helpful in enabling me to identify the ‘holes’ in my plot and add relevant detail where necessary, thus ensuring that my story was well constructed and that the traits and personality of each character came through at different points in the story. As well as looking specifically at the plausibility, causality and significance of each event, this exercise also enabled me to develop further themes and subplots.

Before I could further develop my scene list, it was necessary to research the conventions of the Sci-Fi genre.  Although ‘On Death and Dying’ contains elements of a number of different genres, I felt that the themes of this piece were best suited to the Sci-Fi genre.  After studying a number of pieces such as Russell T Davies Dr Who (2005), Charlie Brooker's Black Mirror (2011) and Andrew Niccol’s Gattaca (1997), I identified a number of overlying ‘rules’: 

1. 1. The creation of ‘relatable’ characters
2. 2. A world which bears some semblance (however slight) to our own world
3. 3. The story must be based around the use of science.  

Considering these rules against my own story, I feel that both my characters and settings are well balanced and that there are clear scientific principles running throughout. 

This section of the course has been a steep, but enjoyable learning curve for me. Overall I feel that it has helped me to develop an in-depth understanding of the role of proposals and treatments in the structuring of a story in preparation for a screenplay.  The course materials prompted me to carry out further research, which I feel has enabled me to create a well-structured story with believable characters.

Project: Plausibility, causality, significance and ‘big turns’.

Exercise: Check plausibility, causality and significance

Whilst developing my treatment, I was very conscious of the need to ensure that all of the events were realistic and plausible.  Of course, depending on the context, what is or isn’t ‘plausible’ can be a little more fluid, but as my story is set in the present day and world, it was easier for me to ensure that all events were ‘life-like’.

However, as the events in my story revolve around advanced scientific theories, I did have some flexibility in terms of what is ‘possible’.   Fitting within the Sci-Fi genre means that my main goal was not necessarily making it realistic, but rather ensuring that the events are plausible and intelligently explained.    This way, the audience is taken into a world much like our own, but with sinister twists and turns along the way.

In addition to ensuring that my story is plausible, I have tried to make sure that each story event, whilst being relevant to the story, has some element of ‘cause and effect’.  Each of my story events aims to either:

·       Move the story forward

or

·       Reveal a different element of a character’s personality

As this story is very character-driven, it is essential for me to slowly ‘reveal’ different elements and changes within each character.  This way, the audience begins to understand, empathise and relate to each character, each time making a decision on whether this character is ‘good’ or ‘bad’.    Also, as my story contains elements of a ‘whodunit’, I will have to slowly reveal clues through dialogue and actions in order to give the audience the necessary hints throughout.

Exercise: The big turn

Throughout my story, I wanted to make sure that the story remains fresh and constantly changing.  Aiming to write a screenplay of around 45mins – 1hr means that I must ensure that my scenes are informative without being too long or boring.  Ideally each of my scenes should contain a dramatic event that either thickens the plot or gives us more insight into each character.  However, there are a number of major ‘turns’ within my piece.  There are:

·       SALLY FINDS HER PARENTS DEAD IN HER LOUNGE

·       SALLY REALISES THAT HER WORLD HAS CHANGED

·       SALLY ABANDONS HER MORAL BELIEFS

·       SALLY DISCOVERS THE IDENTITY OF THE PM

·       SALLY KILLS HERSELF/THE PM

Sub-plots and Themes

Before continuing my treatment plan, I have decided to change the story a little to include a subplot and a bigger overriding theme.   I believe that by doing this, the audience will have a better sense of the secondary characters and the theme can be used to ‘ground’ the whole project and help with plausibility. 

In terms of my subplot, I have decided to include a few scenes focusing around the Prime Minister, Geoffrey Soillen.  As the PM is a major character in the story, I felt that it was important for the audience to build a sense of trust in his character before finding out his true identity.  I hope that this will help to keep the twist a secret, giving the audience the sense that the PM isn’t behind the attacks.  The other reason I chose to include these scenes was to give the audience the opportunity to work out ‘clues’ about the story and, in turn, the PM.  By just giving a small number of cryptic clues and suggestions, this will help the audience to believe the twist – linking back their experiences of his character throughout the project. 

In addition to the above changes, I have also chosen to include the Kubler-Ross (1970) model on the five stages of grief.  I plan to use this model to portray the symptoms of the ‘infection’, with victims moving between denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance.   Each of the three main characters, Sally, Blaine & Tara, have their own individual timeline, showing when they move through each stage.  This can be seen at the bottom of my diagram for my three-act structure. 

For this reason I have chosen to entitle this piece “On Death and Dying” after a famous book written by Kubler-Ross (1970) on the five stages of grief.  I hope that this title will give the learned viewer an insight into the patterns of this story.

Project: What is a Scene?

In order to begin making the above story events into scenes, I have chosen to start with what will be the very opening scenes of my screenplay.  I envisage this scene being overlaid with the opening credits of the film.

This scene is somewhat more complex as it will involve no dialogue and two locations being cut together to give the impression of the two events occurring simultaneously.  

SCHOOL HALL/COTTAGE LOUNGE: Morning: Sally/Sally’s Parents/Geoffrey Soillen

Sally plays piano to a hall of school children whilst two figures are interspersed calmly preparing to hang themselves in their lounge – a crucifix is seen on the cottage wall.  As the piano piece comes to a crescendo Sally notices two empty ‘reserved’ seats in the front row.  The two unknown characters hang themselves as the TV behind them announces the election of the new Prime Minister Geoffrey Soillen.

After completing the above scene, I was eager to continue developing my story.  Below are a few more scenes which I had begun developing.

SCHOOL FOYER: Morning: Sally, Mrs Bluebecker & Ms Salcombe

Sally talks to her former piano teacher and the Headmaster of the school.  Here we ascertain that Sally was home-schooled and she asks to use the landline, as she doesn’t own a mobile phone to call her dutiful parents who should have been at the concert.

HIGH STREET/MUSIC SHOP: Morning: Sally, A group of young teenage girls

Sally enters the music shop on the way to the bus stop, only to find the shop unmanned.  As she browses through the music a group of three teenage girls enter the shop with music blaring from their phones.  The group mock Sally’s clothes and musical taste, causing Sally to quietly leave.  The girls show a strange reaction as Sally leaves, intently staring at her whilst remaining silent. 

BUS: Morning: Sally, A group of young teenagers wearing hoods

As the bus arrives in the pouring rain, Sally boards and shows the driver her bus pass. The driver shows no reaction to Sally’s presence and Sally sits down amongst the passengers.  Sally’s attention is diverted from reading a book by the strange sounds of all of the passengers tapping in a identical rhythm.  Scared, Sally exits the bus.  All the passengers turn to stare at her as the bus pulls away. 

SALLY’S HOME: Morning: Sally, her parents.

Sally returns home to find her parents hanging in the lounge.  Completely distraught, Sally cuts down her parents and lies with their bodies on the floor, unable to accept what has happened.  After the initial shock, Sally tried to call the police and ambulance but receives a strange thumping tone from the telephone.

OUTSIDE SALLY’S HOME: Morning: Sally

Sally tries to hail down a driver, but all of the cars on the road ignore her.  Three cars pass by with two older people sobbing as they are driving. One young driver stares at her intently as he passes.  Giving up on the driver, Sally runs to the police station.