Assignment 1

After completing the last task based on improving my own work, I returned to my original scene and made a few changes to further enhance the effect of the dialogue. 

Firstly I changed one of the stage directions to give the reader a better understanding of the complexity of Matt’s feelings.  In my first draft I used:

TALIA CONT.  Poor little boy from the slums, given the chance to 'be a star'.

Matt lowers his head being reminded of his difficult childhood.

TALIA CONT. Do you not get it Matt?  You're here to be 'politically correct', so we're seen to be including dirty 'slum babies' like you.  You're filth Matt, and you're opinion counts for nothing.

In my second draft I changed the stage direction to read:

Matt punches the toilet cubicle door, which slams loudly. Talia casually looks up momentarily before continuing to play on her phone.

By doing this I hope to not only give the audience a better understanding of Matt’s conflicts over his family, but also gives a better understanding of Talia’s delight in winding up others and pushing them to breaking point. 

The second change I made was to have the characters move from the men’s toilet to the corridor outside.  Once again this gave me an opportunity to display a more unstable side of Matt, shown by his physical forcefulness over Talia, but also helped to keep the scene interesting and more believable given that Talia would have naturally left the room, desperately trying to conceal her true emotions.

I am really happy with how this scene turned out and I think it reflects the character traits that I was hoping for.  It tempts the audience to find out more about the storyline and allows us a deeper understanding of Matt and Talia.  I believe that the changes I have made, although small, make a big difference in both the imagery and general context of this scene.