Exercise: Write a short scene sequence

Below is an extract from my second draft of my treatment for the story I wrote for assignment four.  This selection of scenes deals with the story event of the protagonist, Sally, trying to find help after finding her parent’s dead.    Each scene in this sequence provides an obstacle for Sally and forces her to change location, therefore meeting new characters and discovering new things.  This sequence also contains a travelling scene of a montage of images highlighting Sally’s emotional change.

SALLY’S HOME: Sally

Still in shock, Sally sits in the chair whilst sounds of the house can be heard.  Slowly trying to call for help, Sally receives a strange thumping sound on the telephone.  She clicks the phone several times before slamming the handset down in frustration and leaving the house.

OUTSIDE SALLY’S HOME: Sally

Sally tries to hail down a driver, but all of the cars on the road ignore her.  Three cars pass by with two older people sobbing as they are driving, and one young driver who stares at her intently.  Angrily shouting at the drivers, Sally runs to the police station.

   MONTAGE OF SALLY RUNNING THROUGH THE STREETS SHOUTING AT CARS AND BANGING ON DOORS.  AS HER APPEARANCE CHANGES AND SHE LOOK MORE DESHEVELED, HER DISMAY TURNS TO FRUSTRATION.

POLICE STATION INTERIOR: Sally, A group of hooded youths        

Sally enters the police station breathless and begging for help but finds the station unmanned.  A group of teenagers in the waiting area tap out an identical rhythm and stare blankly ahead. As Sally frantically rings the call button she notices a TV behind the counter.  The newsreader on screen reports on the growing violent situation breaking out at the PM’s charity pop concert and around the country.  Continues to report that the Police and Army have been moving in around the crowds and the PM is expected to make an emergency statement.  The Newsreader questions connection between suicides and violence and warns people to stay inside. With frustration building, Sally stares at the young people before leaving in a rage.

As mentioned above, I feel that by spreading out this storyline over a sequence of scenes, I could create more obstacles and therefore ‘drama’ in the piece.  It also allowed me to introduce and connect other sections of the storyline and effectively ‘overlap’ and ‘interweave’ the stories of other characters.  In addition to this, the changing locations give the audience the opportunity to learn more about the character, background and surroundings.